My spell kits have obviously “arrived.”  How do I know?  Because folks are starting to rag on them.  Not just to their neighbors, mind you.  No siree.  They’re ragging on them all over the internet.

Now, a normal person might be pissed off.  They might even go as far as to send a poison pen email right to the person who started this shit - an email threatening legal action and fueled by enough venom to cause their computer to explode.  But I guess I’m not normal.  Instead, I’m really amused.

You see…my spell kits and I somehow wound up being the subject of a blog entitled, “And In Uniquely Stupid News Today…”   And the joke is on person who authored that blog.  Unfortunately, she not only failed miserably both in research and in preventing others from buying my spell kits, but in proving to the world how much more “knowledgeable” she is than the rest of us.  In fact,  I’m almost compelled to send her a very nice thank-you note - coupled with a lovely floral delivery to soften the blow. 

I realize that further explanation is necessary here.  But before I get to that, you probably ought to read what I’m so tickled over:

Sunday, November 30, 2008

And In Uniquely Stupid News Today…

Dorothy Morrison has gotten into the action, with a full line of half-baked spell kits, most of which are exceedingly dangerous, and all of which have next to nothing to do with Hoodoo or Voodoo.

Thats right, kids! For the low low price of $12.00 you can invoke Elegba to ” achieve great results when using His kit for matters involving luck, success, protection and truth.”

If he doesn’t eat you first.

Diasporic gods are really tricky to work with. They don’t enjoy being pulled from a table of correspondence at your whim (like any deity does). They like their worship to follow precise patterns, have precise offerings, and initiated (or at the very least respectful) followers. When any of these are missing, they are more than happy to let you know. And they don’t give second chances unless they really, really like you.

While some experienced root workers give friends or clients instructions on how to work with a particular god or saint (usually for a VERY specific reason), it is at the behest of their patron saint/diety.

Well, at least her spell kits come with pennies. Charged and blessed pennies. You guys know my take on buying charged objects.

If you had any magical talent, you would be charging it yourself. If you had the ability to charge it yourself, you could feel whether or not it had been charged. That being said, most charged objects are fraudulent.

Nothing against Ms. Morrison, its really just another symptom of the glut in the New Age market. Serving up all the McMagic you can chew!!!!!

Giggle with me at the Marie Laveau and Oya invocation kits, and let us dream of better days!

-Carmin (a.k.a Madame Curare)

So…exactly why am I so amused?  Well…for one thing, when anybody prefaces a statement with “…nothing against XYZ,” one of two things is happening:  it’s either an effort to cover the ass, or an effort in assuaging personal guilt before going on to state exactly what one DOES have against XYZ.  And it’s especially amusing to me that even after using my kits as the subject matter of “uniquely stupid news” and putting my name in the same sentence as “New Age market,” as well as the same paragraph as “McMagic,” she doesn’t have the gumption to own what she means and just admit that she’s got something against me.

Another thing that makes me chuckle is her assumption that I know nothing of the Orisha, that I don’t belong to one of the deities for which the spell kits are named, and that I have no relationship whatsoever with the spirit of Marie Laveau.  Neither does it occur to her that I didn’t put these spell kits together singlehandedly and without thought to safety,  nor without the help of others who happen to belong to the other deities in question - even though it’s clear that they come from Coventry Creations, a firm comprised solely of magical practitioners.

Suffice it to say that I doubt seriously that Elegba is going to have us for lunch - or anyone else, for that matter. 

There’s more.  If she’d checked to see whether the pennies in question were charged before she typed…well…I should probably tell her there’s egg on her face.  But I think I’ll just let it drip for a while.  [Okay, I'll admit it:  Having my integrity questioned is not high on my list of fun things to experience.  Besides...a little egg never hurt anybody.  ;)]

But the thing that amused me the most is that in her best effort to prevent folks from buying my spell kits, she’s managed  just the opposite.  From the date that blog was published and began to pop up all over the internet, spell kit sales went through the roof.  But that’s not all.  Folks who used the kits successfully began to blog about them as well.  [Apparently, one woman even won the thousand dollar black-out at bingo three times in a row.]  It’s gotten to the point that neither I nor my retailers can keep those little goodies in stock.

So…it looks like I really do owe the author of that blog a huge vote of thanks not only for acting as if my spell kits were a rip off, but for the backhanded manner in which she insinuated my stupidity - both things for which I never dreamed I’d be grateful.

Hmmm…I’m off to see about wiring some flowers.