Blood. We all know that it’s pretty important stuff for any number of reasons, but mostly because the rest of the world went to great lengths to make sure we understood its value. Our parents reminded us that blood was thicker than water and that bandaids were necessary to keep all our good red blood from running out. Our friends introduced us to the rituals of “blood brothering,” and society informed us that rewards were earned through blood, sweat and tears, and that bleeding hearts often had fools for masters. And if that weren’t enough, our British neighbors got in on the act, too, with colorful phrases like “bloody hell” and all sorts of other vermillion-tinged conversational precursors.
But that wasn’t all. We entered the realm of high school biology class and discovered blood typing. Some of us wound up in college anatomy and physiology classes and learned about the venal highway systems in the human body. And as we got older, we came to understand the importance of blood transfusions and blood drives, and the dangers of diseases carried through the blood.
So to say that I’ve been fairly well educated when it comes to that lovely sanguine substance was a safe assumption. In fact, I was pretty sure there was very little I didn’t know about good blood, bad blood, and everything in between.
At least, until a couple of days ago.
You see, I discovered that my blood growls. Literally. Not just a little, mind you. It’s a full-blown, mean, hateful, vicious, snarling, scare-the-shit-out-of-the-Wicked-Witch, I’ll-chew-you-up-and-spit-you-out sort of growl. It’s downright nasty, and enough to leave the world’s militia shaking in their boots. Hell…it damned near even scared me!
So how did I come by this interesting discovery? Well…I’m getting to that.
A few days ago, my doctor - the one I usually don’t think has the sense the Gods gave a goose - became concerned about some swelling in my feet and legs. I thought I needed a script for some water pills. She thought not. Instead, she much preferred to send me for a sonogram to rule out blood clots. So…off I went, referral in hand, to the radiology department of the local hospital.
It was an interesting test - they use a little tool to mash your veins flat and release them to monitor blood flow - and fortunately, no blood clots were found. But in the process, I was actually able to hear the blood rush back into my veins. And from the noise that it made, it was obvious both to me and to the tech that it was really pissed off.
“That’s some pretty stout stuff you’ve got there,” she remarked. “I’ve never heard such a racket. Not in all the years I’ve been doing this.”
Who knew?
I guess I shouldn’t be too hard on my doctor. For even though she hasn’t been able to find a single thing wrong with me no matter how many tests she orders or how many times I tell her that I’m perfectly healthy, she has inadvertantly been able to diagnose something that’s baffled folks for more than fifty years. Simply put, that tiny spark of wickedness within me is NOT my fault. It’s in my blood. At my very core. And there’s nothing that I or anyone else can do about it.
I only wish my mother had been around to witness it!
June 12th, 2009 - 3:18 pm
Venous Return (VR). I’m assuming, since you didn’t say..you’re not headed to a
Cardiologist?
You’ve had a BNP (B-type Natriuretic Peptide) (simple blood test) done and it was normal ?
Love YU!
June 12th, 2009 - 4:38 pm
She’s run every test there is to run, and I’m perfectly fine, Darlin’. No cardiologist necessary!
Love you, too!
Dorothy…
June 12th, 2009 - 5:28 pm
hello , and warmest blessings to you dorothy , I would just like to say i think its amazing about the growl your blood makes when it gets peed off . I thinks amazing discovering how our bodys react to different situations . If i get too hungry my stomach hurts from the front untill it feels like i have a hand poking me in the back like its trying to give me a shove to get food . It rudly woke me at 5am this morning to do this and it really hurt . It just goes to show that we have to listen to our bodies sometimes whether we like it or not even at 5am .
I am so happy that everything was fine and that your test results were ok too .
I just ordered utterly wicked this morning and i cant wait .
All my best to you and your health .
Blessings to you . Lisa xxx
June 18th, 2009 - 7:05 pm
I had a VR done a few years ago, when my podiatrist *insisted* I had poor circulation in my feet. And that was after I gave him some graphic evidence ‘no I don’t have poor circulation’ HELLO you have tattoos done on your ankles and you bleed more than a stuck pig…definitely good circulation going there.
Anyway, when the VR was done my blood didn’t exactly growl but it sure made it known to the radiology nurse that it was NOT amused. She swore it was making the noise of “WTF do you think you’re doing? Did anyone ask me about this procedure? NO! The very idea!!!”
Doctors sure can be idiots when they decide to not listen to the patient, especially with a patient who listens to their body.
June 23rd, 2009 - 10:43 pm
I can understand the growling blood. For the first time in my life last night I was literally shaking with anger, my blood literally felt like it was boiling and not from the 90+ degree heat. Never in my life did I ever want more than to whip out my finger, pull out the old black book and start up the crockpot for some good old fashion revenge. Who says it has to be served cold? But just as I was storming in to the Next Millennium (with one hell of a storm falling me) my wise friends pointed out Dorothy’s swifting kit that just came in that day. I touched the package and instantly felt my pulse and heartbeat slowing down, my breathing coming back to normal. It is amazing how your body can almost instantly feel a difference in the energy. I went straight home, did the kit and let’s just say it feels a hell of a lot better than getting even. I know that with my intentions being clear and Dorothy’s head witch kitchen magic, it is going to be okay!
June 26th, 2009 - 5:37 pm
I think everyone’s got a little wicked in them. Some just have it a little growlier than others ;O)
June 27th, 2009 - 11:07 pm
Sweetheart,
When are they ever going to learn, if you keep trying to find something, you miss something imporant. I am so sure that you are “Wicked to the core” That is why we love ya so much.
Take Care,
Teri
July 6th, 2009 - 10:57 am
Nice!
May 1st, 2010 - 8:23 pm
There is so much packed into this one, single post that I could go on and on shouting your praise. Funny that I read, no study is more like it, everything that you write and that I can get hold of, yet I’m just now reading this post. I’m not nearly as talented a writer, so I’ll describe this information as a list:
100% masterful references that glued me to each word
Personal, but not invasive
Made me feel like a friend
Reminded me that I’m not an accident, but that I’m structured
Compelled to show others your Authoress
Hugs,
Saganise